What, is the entire movie a Bill Clinton fantasy sequence? This is a vast left-wing conspiracy LITERALLY out of central casting!
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What Sucks…NBC
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What Sucks…Lady Boilermakers!
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What Sucks Presents…Drunk Ralph Malph!
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What Sucks…MmmHops!
So Hanson released a beer called “MmmHops!” I hear the beer tastes great when it first comes out, but then it kind of ages weird.
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What Sucks Presents…Drunk Ralph Malph!
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What Sucks...Videos You Should Check Out: Rob Paravonian's G Train
An ode to the weirdest train line in NYC, the G-Train, by one of the most talented singer/ songwriters of his generation, Rob Paravonian.
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What Sucks Presents...The Worst Page On The Internet Today!
Take a good look- click to enlarge if you have to- it's all there, a sex offender says her lover ordered the "baby rape", the man who brought his family to meet the underage teen he planned to "have sex with", the janitor who paid kids to beat up another kid. Let's not bury the lead either, don't forget Ariel Castro's accidental suicide where in the prison cell he was in, he was able to do the whole "Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation" thing.
Way to go humanity AND HuffPo! (I'm sure no one got paid for those articles and if there was a video on there, you had to sit through a commercial before seeing it!)
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What Sucks…The Reaper
Underrated and perpetually bald “that guy” actor, Ed Lauter- you knew him as “that guy” from, “Youngblood”, the first (and second) “Longest Yard”, the horrendous Anthony Hopkins/ murderous ventriloquist film “Magic”, (directed by Richard Attenborough and co-staring Burgess Meredith and Ann-Margret), “Born on the Fourth of July”, “Talladega Nights” and “Trouble With The Curve”, in all of which he probably played a guy 2 days away from retirement who was too old for whatever shit was going down, has died at the age of 74.
I would be surprised as shit if this dude WASN’T literally credited as “that guy”, in the 60 or so films that appear on his IMDB page.
Ed Lauter, great character actor, RIP.
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What Sucks…Jim Leyland (Retiring)
Jim Leyland, the chain smoking, baseball lifer who won a World Championship with the Florida Marlins in 1997 has decided to hang them up today after a lifetime in baseball. In addition to the Marlins, he managed The Pittsburgh Pirates, Colorado Rockies and most recently the Detroit Tigers. Leyland is here today because he was a classy guy who got it. He will be remembered for a lot of things, but he will be remembered here for his classy decision to pull all the players off the field so that the great Mariano Rivera could be honored as he came in in what would be his last All Star game.
Class. Hard-nosed baseball and, of course, cigarettes. Jim Leyland will be missed in MLB.
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What Sucks Presents…What The Fuck Is Wrong With These Assholes?: Halloween Edition
Lookit, Halloween comes around, and we all know the drill- it’s “Sexy Nurse”, “Sexy Cat”, “Sexy Joan d' Arc" until women forcibly take over the world and make it all “realistic portrayals of Marie Curie and Eleanor Roosevelt” all the time. Hopefully when that day comes, I’ll be dead and buried but until then, try not to make it a “worst person in the world” contest with your horrendous “I had no idea this would be offensive” or “a lot of people thought it would be funny” ideas.
Oh, a lot of people thought it would be funny if you dressed up as the Twin Towers as planes were flying into them? Who, the fucking Taliban? Perhaps you shouldn’t hang out with a bunch of depraved scumbags. Having your girlfriend at the time dress as Raggedy Ann and then you, yourself dressing up as Andy Rooney so that together you are Raggedy Ann & Andy…Rooney, is funny (TM Me, 2002)! Dressing as the World Trade Center, complete with people jumping out of the top floors makes you a goddamn monster. (See the below cunts.)
But at least those animals had the decency to wait a dozen years after the planes crashed into the buildings and killed 3000 people. This different/ unrelated cunt pictured below, thought a few months was enough to go as a victim of the Boston MarathonBombing. Nice. Even Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is distancing himself from her.
And how bout these pieces of garbage who went as Trayvon Martinand George Zimmerman? Look closely because if at first glance this isn’t offensive enough for you, don’t worry, these douches DID find the time for blackface.
What is there to do in the face of such hatred and contempt? Educate? Try and reason? Well, a new, fun wrinkle to this phenomenon is that now, when one of these MIT grads dresses as a Boston Marathon Bombing victim and inevitably post their costume to their Facebook wall or Twitter account, we get to, armed with all the anonymity and righteous outrage the internet can muster, harass, hacked and torment them! So after all this, we’re left with some nude pictures of the Boston Marathon girl or a death threat or two on the folks in the Trayvon & George photo.
Can't we stick to sexy Ghostbuster?
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What Sucks…Kanye
Cancelling dates due to a broken set but don’t worry if you’re in one of the cities he won’t be going to, you’ll still get a chance to see him WHEN HE COMES TO JUDGE THE LIVING AND THE DEAD! WHEN HE IS SEATED AT THE RIGHT HAND OF THE FATHER!!!
WHEN HE GREETS YOU AT THE PEARLY GATES IN HEAVEN!
WHEN HE COMES TO DEFEAT THE TWO HEADED SERPENT WHO HAD BROKEN THE SEAL AS IT HAS BEEN FORETOLD IN REVELATIONS!!!
‘Cause apparently, he’s the Second Coming of Jeezus.
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What Sucks… Jay Z, Barneys, “Gold”
I don’t get any of this!
After all the shit going on with Barneys, Jay-Z turns around launches his new cologne “Gold” there? At this point, my head is spinning- I will say this about the cologne though, it is AMAZING!. You put it stuff on and IMMEDIATELY the ladies start following you- lady cops, lady security guards, lady FBI officers…lady drones from above- it is amazing!
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What Sucks…Scientists: Perv Watch Vol.36
Hey! You with the glasses and the lab coat standing in front of a microscope- yes, you. Thank you for working so diligently to find a fossil of two ancientbugs “doing it”. Seriously, very good use of your time in a world ravaged by disease and in need of a scientific breakthrough that would outshine your last one, the “Slap Chop!”.
So two bugs were fucking when all of a sudden a volcano erupted and rained lava on them. They heard the volcano erupt, they CHOSE to continue to fuck. Good for them, leave them alone, pervs!
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What Sucks…Quick Hits: DMX, Bieber, The Today Show,
Arrested again? At this point if you lined up all his mug-shots in a row and looked at them, real fast, it would be like a new video!
Spending time in a BrazilianBrothel? No judging here just as long as he knows Bieber Fever does NOT present as itchy red spots around your privates. Go to the doctor, Biebs!
...The Today Show
Matt Lauer & Al Roker to get prostate exams on the Today Show? I thought Al Roker getting a prostate exam WAS Matt Lauer getting a prostate exam!
…Pam Anderson
Runs the New York marathon in 5 hours 53 minutes and 17 seconds, finishing 22 seconds behind the front of her boobs!
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What Sucks Presents: “OR…”
The earth stopped on its axis the other day when it noticed a 65 year old Jewish man riding the subway, sitting straight up while an African American man next to him rested his head on his shoulder and slept peacefully. The photo went viral appearing on countless people’s Facebook feeds and a number of websites and was cited as an example of one man’s empathy for another…
OR…an uptight white dude is scared shitless to move after a black guy falls asleep on his shoulder!
This has been What Sucks Presents “OR…”
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What Sucks…R. Kelly and Justin Bieber
These two today announced plans to work together. I’m actually excited to see what these guys can do…to buckets!
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What Sucks…These Jag-Off Terrorists
Jag-off terrorists apologizefor cutting off the wrong guy’s head and ask for “forgiveness and understanding”. I don’t know, apologies or not, this is a pretty big screw up, heads are gonna roll!
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What Sucks...Leave This Man Be After A Show!
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What Sucks Salutes…Women With Bad Taste In Men
…The 25 Year Old Woman Dating Charlie Manson!
Yes, Charlie Manson is dating a 25 year-old woman and…YOU DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!
This is actually a very sweet story, I heard he had her at “the man is a spider inside the mind of the devil, and I live in the underground, just a messenger from the depths of what you are already too scared to believe!” (He rambles, and is insane.)
By the way, I’m outta the game for a while now but how rough IS it out there that a 25 year old woman moves across country to date an 80 year old guy, who ALSO HAPPENS TO BE CHARLIE MANSON! Jeezus!
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What Sucks...Robinson Cano
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