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What Sucks…Amanda Bynes & Hip Hop

June 5, 2013, 9:00 am
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The worlds of Hip Hop and Pop Culture collided this week- probably cause Amanda was driving- when Amanda Bynes went after Rihanna on twitter saying…

Rihanna for her part went back at her with…


But Hip Hop doesn’t know what to make of her.  Gucci Mane tweeted his support- oh THAT'S a good sign by the way, having Gucci Mane supporting you...
 “Yeah girl, when you're ready for your next tattoo, I know a guy...” 
And here’s The Game talking about her…he thinks she’s Jody Arias.  He thinks she killed a guy.

Hey Game, not yet! 
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What Sucks…Pipe Smokers!

June 6, 2013, 2:18 pm
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What Sucks…Salads, Salad Dressing

June 10, 2013, 1:57 pm
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Admit it- salads suck, salad dressings suck.  All of them.  And the Salad Dressing industry is criminally under-shat-upon. It’s time it all stopped. 

Here are the facts:
People need to eat salad.  You can’t eat cheeseburgers or pizza every day for lunch.  Believe me I speak from experience.  This is a picture of me, and I’m only 24!  You need something that allows you to have BM’s and that doesn’t make you feel like a fat disgusting piece of garbage after you eat.  By the way, you’re welcome, I just saved you 4 years of Nutritionist school.

But eating salads for Americans is not easy.  We like food to not taste like poop.  Look at the things people put in their salad to desperately make it taste better- steak, fried chicken, hamburger, taco meat, taco meat AND sour cream, the list goes on and on.  All of which, by the way, completely destroy any kind of health aspect associated with salad and undermine the reasons for having salad to begin with. 

The quest to make salads palatable knows no boundaries. The struggle is a sad one. Look at the Chef Salad. How is that healthy?  Just have the Italian hero you’re dying for.  Throwing it in a bowl of lettuce and pour some crap over it is only living a lie!

People are putting bacon, or bacon bits into salads.  Croutons, which are basically pieces of stale, fried bread, which puts them in the doughnut family!  What’s next?  Candy?  Why not throw a few skittles or bite sized chocolate bars in your salad?  Shit that seems delicious! 

It’s a lost cause.  If there was only a decent salad dressing maybe there would be hope, but the only thing corrupt “Big Salad Dressing” seems interested in giving us is bleu cheese, French, ranch or Thousand Islands- things that destroy the health content of salad.  Seriously, how long until we’re pouring maple syrup on our greens? 

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What Sucks...Constellations!

June 12, 2013, 1:46 pm
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Isn't it time someone called bullshit on this?  Are you looking up and seeing "Orion The Hunter"? Or just a bunch of bullshit dots to connect?




Seriously, where's the bear in that?


 Does anyone see a bull on the right?

It's bullshit.  MAYBE I see the section where the Harlem River Drive meets the FDR Drive on the east side of Manhattan.  Maybe.

So people are just looking up to the sky and seeing what they want to see, right?  So if I were around then, I could look up, connect the dots and have a constellation named for...



...Michael Douglass as Liberace getting it from Matt Damon?
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What Sucks…Quick Hits: Podiatrists, Battleship, Florida, The Eye Chart!

June 17, 2013, 11:12 am
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…Podiatrists
Who goes all the way to medical school just to study feet?! 


…Battleship Out On DVD
Spoiler Alert! B:9, C:8 & E4!


…Florida
A man in Florida was arrested for strangling his grandmom's puppy and then eating it?! Ah, Florida.  The Punchline State. 

…The Eye Chart!
Doctors of the world please change the eye chart! It's been memorized & repeated back to you by memory! The truth must get out- NO ONE CAN SEE! 
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What Sucks…‘Lil Wayne

June 18, 2013, 6:28 pm
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What Sucks…Drake & Chris Brown

June 19, 2013, 6:43 pm
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What Sucks…Michael Jackson’s Ghost

June 20, 2013, 6:53 pm
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Lionel Richie’s wife says Michael Jackson’s ghost visited her and told her his death was an accident. First off, can you believe that guy has a ghost- can he be even paler?! Secondly, what the hell was he doing talking to Lionel Richie’s wife? 
 
A few questions: what nose did he have?  Is it Michael Jackson from Billy Jean?  Michael Jackson from Thriller?  As long as it’s not Michael Jackson from “Off The Wall”, cause then it’s just a black guy in your house and the police are getting called!
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What Sucks...Web Videos You Should Checkout: Victor Varnado!

June 24, 2013, 9:14 am
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What Sucks…Cee-Lo & Goodie Mob To Reunite!

June 24, 2013, 2:37 pm
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This is good because Cee-Lo needs to get back to what made him good- he’s been getting a little too out of control- being on The Voice, one week he’s holding a cat, one week he’s holding a bird…dude- you’re there to give advice! Who are you, Koko B. Ware? 





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What Sucks…Bobbi Kristina!

June 7, 2013, 1:54 pm
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Getting kicked out of her apartment and leaving this nasty note, dating her step-brother...


I hope the people who wanted to see what would happen if Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown had a kid are satisfied!  So now she needs a place to crash now.  Who's gonna step up?
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What Sucks…Chris Brown Round Up!

June 7, 2013, 3:52 pm
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 You knew it was only a matter of time before Chris Brown got in trouble again, and sure enough, this morning, it happened. 

Some of his neighbors in the Hollywood hills complained about his violent behaviorinability to get along with others some graffiti on the wall of his place. 

THIS is what Chris Brown is getting in trouble for? Congratulations Chris, looks like you finally are turning things around! 

And to the folks in the Hollywood neighborhood around him, you’re getting off easy. 

Chris also said he’s launching a Youtube Channel where you can “see him at all times” and “keep up with what he’s doing”. “All times of the day?”  This sounds like a great way to watch your favorite R&B/ Hip Hop star during the day, and then get hauled in to testify about what you saw at night! 
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What Sucks… Tupac’s Aunt

May 9, 2013, 1:53 pm
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The first woman to ever make it to number one on the FBI Most Wanted list just had a 2 million dollar bounty placed on her head, and oh, by the way, she’s 2pacs aunt!  Congrats Assata Shakur! 

By the way, I heard the FBI is getting serious about tracking her down, the other day they brought Tupac’s hologram in for questioning.

Many think she’s in Cuba, and its rumored that the Government tried to get Jay-Z to go there and flush her out- that’s what Jay-Z is becoming now, the dude from Taken!  I will find you! I have skills!



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What Sucks…Fat Joe Going To Jail

June 27, 2013, 1:25 pm
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Add Fat Joe to the ever-growing list of Hip Hop stars who get in trouble with the IRS and go to jail. We’re at the point right now where this is happening so much, certain questions have to be asked, like, why, and, can Fat Joe fit into a cell? 

Granted, he made mistakes.  He trusted the wrong people, also, I believe he tried to claim Apple-Bees as a dependent, but still, we are seeing this way too much in the Hip Hop community. 

And yes, Fat Joe did not do himself any favors.  His lawyers worked very hard to try and get him a deal, but he insisted on holding out hope that the judge would sentence him to Waffle-House arrest. 
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Fat Joe, my advice to you- first day in jail, kick someone’s ass, then have your cholesterol checked.  We’re worried about you. 

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What Sucks...Taken 3!

June 28, 2013, 2:27 pm
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What Sucks…Quick Hits: Flo-Rida, Miley Cyrus, TLC, Nicki Minaj

July 1, 2013, 1:43 pm
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 …Flo Rida Not Paying Child Support

He says the kid is not his, however, I am not sure I believe him.  Flo Rida can be very misleading, I only found out the other day that “Whistle” is not about whistling. 


…Miley Cryus

Twerking Queen?  Is this what we’ve come to?  How can you twerk, when you do not have an ass?  Must lower our standards for everything?



 …TLC

Remaking “Waterfalls” and replacing Left Eye with a Japanese Pop Star? CrazySexyNOTCool.  


 

...Nicki Minaj

Signed on to be a spokesperson for Moscato wine.  This isn’t the first hip hop star to rep a lady-drink, remember Pitbull had Bud Light! 
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What Sucks...Our Country!

July 8, 2013, 7:21 am
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Let me get this straight- our entire National Security system was destabilized by a dude with a goatee?!  AND now we can’t seem to find him?!  Have we checked comic book stores? How bout Rush concerts?!  Look at this guy! I heard the next thing they'll be worried about is
him giving up spoilers for Dr. Who! What’s next, a nuclear submarine taken over by a dude wearing a Ed Hardy shirt?  Air Force One hijacked by a guy wearing a fedora?!
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What Sucks…Quick Hits: Farah Abraham, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston, Michael Lohan

September 9, 2013, 2:27 pm
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…Farah Abraham
 Will be on the cover of the upcoming “Girls and Corpses”- she’ll be the girl and dignity will be the corpse!

…Taylor Swift
Personalized her “No Trespassing” sign outside her home to say, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in. No Trespassing.”  “How adorable”, said the man in the bushes plotting her abduction and murder!


…Jennifer Aniston
Told Good Morning America that she’s tired of being asked whether she wants kids. “I totally understand,” said George Stephanopoulos, “but I asked you how you liked making ‘We’re The Millers’”. 
…Michael Lohan
Spoke out about Lindsay’s recovery to “In Touch” saying he and his family will protect her “like pit bulls”.  He then added, “…Pit bulls, right, yeah. Okay, Lindsay reality show: she’s locked in a cage with pit bulls. Each week the audience votes another pit bull off…”

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What Sucks…The Lone Ranger

September 12, 2013, 1:57 pm
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Announced today that Disney is expected to lose 190 million dollars on the Lone Ranger, making it one of the biggest bombs in recent memory.  Or as someone in marketing told their intern, “Ah, can you take these 400 thousand dead-bird hats and put them in the storage closet?”

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What Sucks…Michael Douglas

September 13, 2013, 1:50 pm
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